Artist: Yoko Gold / @YOKOGOLD
Grade: Premium
Label: One Umbrella
Song: Limbo
Album: Escape From Limbo
TAG: World Premiere
From: Toronto, Canada
‘Holy mother of all crash-landings ‘$!#@%
What the fuck? No, like, really! What the fuck just fell out of the sky and hit planet Earth? Tell me you just heard that!? Please tell me I’m not the only one. At this point, my mother already thinks I’m a half-wit!
Could it have been a falling star? A bird? A plane? Perhaps your friendly neighborhood Spiderman? Or maybe one of those government-issued UFOs everyone and their deranged mothers have been gossiping about?
Well, fear not, my loves; thankfully, "THAT” was not the sound of armageddon, and “THOSE” were not the solemn strings of impending doom. “THAT,” my curious and attentive friends, was the sweet sound of another chance at a modern GOLDEN AGE. “THAT” is the promise of the long-awaited, much-anticipated return to the 'Gold Standard.'
For those of you who have been living under a rock your whole existence, we, your humble curriers, bring good news to whatever part of “BEDROCK” or, more specifically, ‘Cobblestone Lane,’ you call home. THE DOG DAYS ARE OVER!
Have you ever heard of Yoko Gold!? No Fred! We didn’t say ‘Acapulco Gold,’ we said, ‘YOKO FUCKING GOLD! We’re talking about the young myth, the man, the moon raker, the maker of dreams and legends.
We have reason to believe that Mr. Gold is the only living musical artist with enough history and sonic richness instilled within his humble upbringing to drive us out of the muddy dark ages we currently call present-day music.
Mr. Gold is the true and living “EQUALIZER.” He’s star-seed, he’s psycho-bread, and he oozes talent in a way only the greatest of greats did. We’re talking The Purple One and The Moon-Walker! We here at BUZZ know what you’re thinking because we, too, were thinking the same.
So let me guess, the golden days of "THE FAIRYTALE MUSICAL-ICON-LIVING ARE OVER," right? And you wouldn’t be wrong, given what passes for quality music these days. At this rate, we’re surprised Jesus is still in style.
Look, we not only sympathize with you, we hand in our resignations and give our condolences; MUSIC IS FUCKED! (with the odd exception of a rarefied few). WE GET IT. Every time the radio plays, we end up on suicide watch! (Okay, that’s a stretch).
Yoko Gold is “Thee Certified Gemini-Moon Dweller." His first single, “Limbo,” from his first official EP. 'Escape From Limbo' is the moment we’ve all been waiting for! Whether we know it or not, Friday, August 4, marks an auspicious day on our Gregorian calendars, That is, if it isn’t derailed by news of another Fruity-Loop injection endorsed by a Prime Minister whose last name rhymes with “PÙTO.” (Deep breaths, long exhales).
Anyway! As always, “Be there or be square,” and being late doesn’t mean you’re being fashionable; In fact… it usually means you’re just late, and no one gives a fuck what you’re wearing.
PS: A shout-out to Argentina Fargo! Remember kids; "Life’s like the movie with the horse. All black women are black stallions, but only some are actually “WHORE-SES!” Get It? Giddy-up, cowboy.
-GODHASENTEREDTHECHAT